I’ve been trying to write this blog for weeks.
And for whatever reason it’s been a struggle to get it out. I’ve been trying to phrase it so that it’s empowering without being fanciful too; where it’s uplifting without being unrealistic.
Then I said, “phuck it, I just have to write it like me.”
I am a part of several women’s groups on and off social media. I have interactions daily with women. Some are really positive and others, meh, not so much.
But, despite all, I am a lover of women!
In high school I had it all figured out how we could maintain humanity without men and I was CLEAR that they couldn’t without us! LoL
Obviously I’ve evolved from my high school mentality but my belief that women are overflowing with power hasn’t changed.
If I liked Beyoncé I’d love her song that talks about girls running the world! Because…YES!
But even with all my warm and fuzzies about women there are always areas that can be better developed. And about a month ago my area stared me right in my face.
I was out with my husband and a friend of mine one night and as we were listening to a song, that I’m sure I’ve heard before, this lyric plays “And white girls fun because all of ‘em swallow”
First of all, eww! Who says that?
Secondly, WTH Christina!
How many times had I heard this lyric before and not even paid attention to it? More importantly, WHY hadn’t I? Because he wasn’t talking about me? Because he wasn’t talking about BLACK women?
That last thought hit me like a ton of bricks. Was it possible that ME, Christina Xlimit, who loves and empowers ALL women to their full potential had subconsciously limited my community?
I started to play over the many conversations of black women about the disappointment they feel in black men for constantly degrading black women in their music. I remember agreeing that it’s pathetic. But I don’t remember any conversations about the degradation of Latinas, Caucasian, or Asiatic women.
Why not? Do they not care? Do they complain in their own circles? Are they even aware? Where was the disconnect? WHY hadn’t I made this connection before?
So I knew this blog had to come. I had to challenge you to examine your heart and community in the same way that I was examining mine.
- We Have a Responsibility
Our responsibility as women is to our community of women.
There is honor in our womanhood. And while many cultures honor their women as a norm, unfortunately that isn’t so in the United States.
That’s probably because we’re a lot of cultures all thrown together.
Living in a society that doesn’t both consistently and openly honor women means that we as women absolutely should.
Are your children going to mistreat each other around you if they suffer consequences for doing so? Probably not for very long!
Just like parents set the tone for THEIR tribe, we as women set the tone for OUR tribe.
You can’t disrespect us if we respect each other. You don’t get to talk to me about another woman any old kind of way. Period.
I had a situation once where a friend to my husband was over my house for a BBQ. And after a little while of drinking he got to feeling himself and start bragging about how he mistreats her. Telling Chris he should check me.
I’m not sure how he missed the memo that I’m not really the “get checked” type.
How his girl wouldn’t XYZ because he’d knock her out. And that was the moment.
Even though I only knew his girlfriend in passing I laid into him! Then I kicked him out of my house.
Because in that moment, who she was, as a woman, was my responsibility (in her absence).
We as women need to see our sisters as our responsibility. And not just when she’s around. Not just the ones that look like us. Not just the ones we know are good people. Not just the ones we can relate to.
ALL OF US!
- Women Are Powerful When Unified
In various cultures the matriarch acts as the glue so to speak. Imagine if we as women used that to our benefit ACROSS cultural lines?
Society is constantly pitting us against one another:
“Who wore it best?”
White girls are slutty but they support their men!
Black women are angry but her ass is fat!
Latinas are crazy but their accents are so exotic!
They try to convince us that we need to compete for respect rather than telling us that we are ALL worthy of it. They praise certain traits while in the same breath pushing such negative stereotypes. Telling us to aspire to be more like the other and still spoon feeding us such hateful stereotypes about the other to affirm our superiority.
A lot like racism honestly, but another blog, another day.
And it’s all horseshit. They want to keep us divided against one another because they know the power we hold if we’d all just come together with one thought and one mind; to see our tribe of women allowed to be themselves.
- Our Community Doesn’t End Where the Color Changes
I get it. It’s easier to identify with the struggles of women that look like you because they’re probably your same individual struggles. But I’m challenging you to expand your view and see that EVERY woman looks like you.
We all have the exact same unfair, and honestly confusing, expectations placed on us.
Be beautiful and stand out, but not too much; wouldn’t want to be seen as an attention seeker. Have an opinion because you should be intelligent. But be willing to not share your opinion because you don’t want to seem overbearing. Take care of your physical appearance, but not to the point of appearing vain. You’re a great asset to this company and I think you’re a great leader, but I don’t want to promote you to this position and then you get pregnant.
I mean, REALLY!! We’re all dealing with that SAAAAAME crap!
So she GETS it! Even though she’s Japanese, German, Ecuadorian, West Indian, etc! She GETS it!
You may not fight the same way but your battle is more the same than it is different.
And I encourage you to remember that.
Because an affront to one woman is an affront to us ALL.
Believing for your limitless lives.